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Had I taken my last breath there and then, the Doctor would have undoubtedly recorded my cause of death as self satisfaction! Afternoon Tea at Belfast’s newest, grandest 4 star hotel was by my own admission an outstanding Valentines Gift for the Marvelous Mummy & to pull a further ace from up my sleeve, I had booked the more expensive Observatory on the 23rd floor. 
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 Last week I decided to get a jump on life and pre prepare, which is how I found myself in a greeting card shop looking through heart covered cards with vomit enduring verses stuffed inside! As I stood in my little love bubble looking at Wife cards my attention was drawn to an old man muttering beside me.  Seemingly he had found the same sex Valentine couple cards and couldn’t help but share his disgust! ‘It isn’t right’, ‘look at this’, ‘it’s a disgrace’, ‘it just isn’t right’. He remarked towards no one in particular, peppering in a few possibly offensive words. Now for the most part the other customers ignored him, pretending instead to enjoy the verses of various in sympathy and congratulations on your vasectomy cards. Feeling as if I should defuse this situation and acutely aware that the older Gentleman was merely a victim of the generational gap, I decided to step up & be the adult in the room  I reached forward, lifted a ‘To my Darling Husband, from your Husband’ card and turned to the older Gentleman while slowing shaking my head. Placing my hand on his shoulder, I looked into his eyes and said softly ‘if loving my Brian is wrong then I don’t want to be right’
I have never seen colour drain so quickly from anything, never mind a face & before I could say a word he had moonwalked to the door without taking his eyes off me! Chuckling to myself as I placed the card back on the rack I caught sight of the £3.50 price tag, the extravagance of which was still on my mind as I paid for my £1 Wife card. The moral of the story? It’s Valentines on Thursday, don’t get caught empty handed .... oh and intolerance has no place in our World! If you don’t like it, don’t look. After all why should it only be the straight guys who get stung for flowers  As previously mentioned, All this week my dementors have been released early from school to facilitate parent / teacher Interviews! So armed with a three & half hour window from school pick up until the Marvellous Mommy gets off work, I decided on a Friday treat trip to the Cinema, which also serves as one of my favourite places to grab a nap This treat coincided with the release date for Lego Movie 2 and as D1 had been counting down since first seeing the trailer some weeks ago, I decided to prebook  So having watched (dozed through) & refreshed ourselves with Lego Movie 1 the night before, we had our tickets booked for one of the very first showings of the sequel, which meant driving to the historic town, historically boring, of Antrim. The picture house of 2019 has the latest sound tech & visually splendid projection systems, it also seems to be streets ahead of its time, as charging £3.40 for a bag of sweets is clearly something found at least 25 years in the future of inflation Having found our three seats amongst the other 200 empty ones, we sat poised for another Emmett lead adventure. Lego has become very popular in our house which is a testament to its longevity & ability to remain current amongst tablets and smart toys. Though it’s now appropriate to avoid the Toy Shop for a month or so as with these movies comes the reason for their existence, merchandise  👆 one of my favourite scenes, yep the end The movie itself, well it’s worth noting I’m not really a fan of the Lego Movie’s. I don’t dislike them, they just don’t excite me in the way other animated releases would, but then as the Marvellous Mummy likes to remind me, it’s about the kids. Now over the years I have sat through some utter twonk at the movies, which is quite the statement as being a major movie buff I will generally give anything a go. On the flip side i have also experienced some gems, so an open mind is crucial. Lego Movie 2? It was a little odd, the production values are high as expected of these modern animations & it presented a top rate cast, the problem came with the story. It was a bit disjointed in the middle & relied heavily on the final act to clarify the narrative of exactly what had gone on prior. Thankfully that last third was clear enough to save the day, pulling together a vastly superior ending to what I had expected following a slightly messy mid section. The story though is irrelevant, this is a feature length advertisement. I’m amazed we didn’t exit through a gift shop as not only will you be presented with the animated lego sets which you will soon experience the full force of pester power to purchase, they have also thrown in Duplo and Lego girls ranges for good cash register Ching chinging £279.99, not a typo 👇  This week has been Parent / Teacher Interviews at my 2 dementors school, which we will refer to as Grim P.S to protect its identity.  I always considered ‘interviews’ to be a strange word for these occasions, just who is Interviewing whom? It’s more like a review of your kid that takes place in miniature world. Grown men (physically at least) and women sit on seats made for 6 years old’s, surrounded by colourful scribbles, a water table & a story corner, all whilst trying to convey an air of serious decorum throughout a discussion on the educational progress of your young. And what’s with the blackboard or is it chalk board, maybe it’s just boards now. They are extinct, it’s all electronic dual purpose white boards connected to projectors. (Surely the name white boards is as problematic to the PC overlords as Blackboards?)  The kids can write on the board with their finger, no chalk required, which makes the famously chalk dust filled erasers something they will never know the joy of, well joy & terror.
Who doesn’t recall feeling one whizz by your head in the teachers effort to strike the chatty girl behind you, somewhere that wouldn’t show a bruise, so she would shut her gob long enough for the Adult in the room to dictate the latest block of text that everyone had to scribble into their jotters, in what was passed off as teaching on a Friday afternoon? The modern World is filled with Technology, but not all of it is to our benefit. School Days are still the best days of your life, but in a way that today’s generation will never truly get to appreciate it Today I should have been travelling to the US of A! It’s a tradition I have, a little break from the foundering Irish winter in the tropical heat of Florida, now in its 3rd year. Ok so it’s actually a tradition in its infancy but you have to start somewhere  In 2017 I travelled to the USA alone for a week of sunshine, beer, de stressing & the SuperBowl. The showpiece of the NFL was taking place in Houston, TX & I was gonna be there to experience it. Unfortunately the National Football League don’t care to negotiate over ticket prices, so I found myself watching the game in an Orlando bar! Still, a lot better than chilly Ireland though. 2018 saw me return to Orlando after a two night stopover in New York City, all to visit the World renowned Dead Rabbit Grocery & Grog, a former winner of Best Bar in the World, that’s nestled on the southern tip of Manhattan.  As 2019 approached I was hit with Cupid’s arrow, or possibly some sort of hallucinogenic infused dart, it’s still not clear which . Whatever the cause I decided to open up my solo trip to include my Wife. I plotted my brilliant plan convinced the location alone would convince The Marvellous Mummy to accompany me I had my oh so romantic pitch well rehearsed, “How about we head to Orlando in Feb, just the two of us?”. Cue a bonanza of Brownie points, in my mind at least. You see, in March 2009 I popped the question in Orlando, the Germany pavilion in Epcot at the Walt Disney World Resort to be exact. On the last night of The Marvellous ones first trip to the states, under the evening fireworks display. Obviously I thought it would be a home run to head back there, sans kids to reminisce on the past decade. To reflect on our lives together & our achievements, the kids, our careers, our recent house move.. maybe even look back on all those times we didn’t have sex, you know deep and meaningful couple stuff. Here is a wee snap of the historic moment!  It was to be a special trip on several levels. So as I explained this to her one evening i was simultaneously picturing myself accepting an award for outstanding husbandry, in fact I may have been Mid imaginary acceptance speech when I was snapped back to reality.. Did she just say ‘It’s too far away’... She did say it was too far away, she doesn’t want to go! Too far away, I wasn’t expecting her to walk! There would be a plane involved.. Scrambling to counter her comment with a clear positive I pulled ‘Yeah it’s 9 hours on a plane, with no kids’ out of my hat.. surely that a plus? Well.... Apparently her Majesty gets bored sitting for so long with nothing to do...  That’s news to me! She manages to sit on her ass every night for hours on end all while ignoring plenty of activities, the ironing, the dishes, the cookbooks that she had to buy. This wisely remained a non verbalised personal thought..
I meekly countered with watch a movie, read a book, have a snooze or just enjoy the child free atmosphere with a drink or four? Winner? Nope, she wasn’t budging. So here she was, turning down a free trip to Orlando in the midst of an Irish Winter, with no kids and to celebrate 10 years since her engagement to her clearly, or so I thought, wonderful husband. So that’s how I find myself sitting at home in -2 degrees icy conditions opposed to hurtling across the Atlantic nursing a Jameson and Ginger For better or for worse! said by many, meant by none |
The Daddy2 boys, 1 Wife.. don't even suggest a dog Archives
June 2020
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