Cards on the table, I can be grumpy through most of the major holidays but there is something about Halloween that makes me the grumpiest.
I say this as I glare at a plastic skeleton hanging on my living room door like a reject from a biology department, while several severed plastic fingers litter the stairs.
I’m just waiting for the Pumpkin to arrive, it’s alway me who has to scoop up the rotting remains
The whole thing is getting out of hand! Year after year it becomes increasingly Americanised with more & more garishly outrageous decorations and residential displays! But is America to blame or is that merely how we think they celebrate from what we see on TV?
The one Halloween I spent in the USA was utterly disappointing, with a distinct lack of any old hallows related events. It was so bad we ended up trick or treating with Swedish people who were staying in the same villa community.
In fact it was a paradise for Halloween haters, I should book a trip for next year!
You see, I’ll submit to trick or treating for one night. This is despite the fact we spend all year telling our kids not to speak to people they don’t know & don’t take sweets from strangers! Yet come October 31st we dress them up to send them out to do those very things!
Go on Son, go knock on random doors & ask for sweets! Mixed signals? Yep!
What I really can’t abide about this practice is the cheek of some young people who will knock the door a week before Halloween, mumbling trick or treat in a pre pubescent voice while wearing a costume that is nothing more than a tracksuit with the hood pulled up. I actually make a point of asking them to clarify if they have actually called over to mug me or is it just a really lazy form of begging?
My two boys are at the ripe age for excitedly getting into the spirit of the season, dressing up & heading out ‘Halloween knocking’ much like I did as a child. So I’m forced to tolerate it to a point, yet age brings wisdom, to me anyway.
So as I send the wife out, to beg sweeties from strangers, with the two dementors, I use the excuse that I need to stay behind to hand out sweets to any trick or treaters who call at our house. I even make a big display of filling a bucket with sweets & getting my funny face on.
Here comes my brilliance, once they have gone I turn out all the lights, open a beer and ignore anyone knocking the door!
Cue creepy maniacal laugh
Do one Halloween 🎃
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