Movies : Daddy’s festive 5

As a passionate supporter of the ‘Keep Christmas in December’ movement, it is finally date appropriate to go Christmas Crackers, festively fruity or Cuckoo for Coco Ops (not really xmas but it’s a classic)

Yep, brace yourselves, I’m officially full of Yuletide Glee!

As much fun as the holidays are, it’s important to remember the true and serious meaning of the season, Movies! So here is a list of the Daddy’s festival five, carefully selected to make you feel all warm and fuzzy. Christmas spirit warm and fuzzy, not soiled yourself after too much mulled wine warm and fuzzy

5. All I want for Christmas (1991)

Leslie Nielsen as Santa Clause, Lauren Bacall as the family Matriarch with New York as the back drop. This was critically panned on release, which was only a year after Home Alone, yet it has all the ingredients of an overlooked classic, something it has arguably become in the years since.

Feel good & full of seasonal warmth! If I was siskel or even Ebert, I would give it two thumbs up


4. The Muppet Christmas Carol

Jim Henson’s fuzzy babies, wrapped up in Charlie Dickens gift to the World, A Christmas Carol. Though sadly Jim Henson had died by the time this was released (it’s dedicated to his memory) his creations, supported by Michael Caine, make the roles their own.

Most of the Muppets movies were utter crap & they say you can’t polish a turd, but they also talk about exceptions to rules and this tale of Muppet Mayhem in Victoria London is pure festive family fun!

3. Home Alone 2 : Lost in New York (1992)

Yes, the original always seems to rate higher on polls but the sequel takes the whole abandon your kid at christmas concept, transports it to the most festive backdrop on Earth, a festive Big Apple, then reunites Kevin with the Wet Bandits.

In my unarguable opinion that improves upon the blockbusting formula of the first instalment. Plus has yer woman from Casualty portraying some sort of pigeon whisperer!

The hard copies of the rest of the franchise though, well they should be gathered up, melted down and allowed to reach their full potential. Recast moulded as dildos!


2. A Christmas Story (1983)

Not overly familiar to audiences in this part of the World, this 1983 classic tells the story of young Ralphie & his quest for a Red Ryder BB Gun. Set in 1940’s America it’s has established something a cult following & is possibly best known for its eclectic lamp & the advice given surrounding licking frozen poles!

You’ll shoot you’re eye out kid!

1. It’s A Wonderful Life (1946)

This epic black and white tale of hardship and redemption is best enjoyed on Christmas Eve over a glass or two, actually it has a long run time so best make a pot, of mulled wine.

It’s been colourised and transferred to blu ray but if you watch it in anything other than a depression inducing colourless joy then you deserve coal in your stocking!

So there you have it, the top...... oh wait! What’s that noise?

THE SHITTERS FULL

A movie that should never be placed on any list, simply because it’s unfair on the other movies who can never beat it, Christmas Vacation

Clark W Grizwalds just wants the perfect family Christmas, but when Uncle Eddie rolls the RV into Town it turns into the most dysfunctional Christmas on record!

From the opening scene of festive road rage, the living Christmas presents or emptying a chemical toilet into a storm drain, it’s the one movie to showcase how the perfect family Christmas doesn’t exist

So stop stressing & drink more eggnog so when Santa squeezes his fat ass he is gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house