Women are a crafty breed, actually scrap that, Women are cunning & sly! A lot like Pussy cats & I hate Pussy Cats
Despite suspecting this personality trait for some time, I have recently concluded that my Wife is trying to kill me. Ok so that may seem like an extreme allegation to some & I do agree, in part. Perhaps you need to understand the subtleties of her plan & the frankly masterful way in which she is implementing it, or thought she was
She calls it Slimming World! Slimming & World, two innocent words that when used together should be rated 18!
Apparently, she tells me, we are slimming down in an attempt to lose my beer belly & live longer in the long term all while working towards beach bodies for our upcoming vacations, in the short.
But I don’t even like the buggering beach. So while I may end up looking reasonable in my trunks, this is reality & reality means the opposite of the glossy pictures in the holiday brochure, my reality dictates sand in my unmentionables & sweat dripping off me like a hog roast, all it seems while dreaming about a cheese burger like it’s a life altering mirage.
Yet if Im gonna be forced into a sandy hell hole then I’ll concede that beached whale is not the Beach bod I want to go for. Which is why I am embracing this diet, wrapping my arms tightly around it & obeying the syn system, with my own little tweaks thrown in. Well you still have to enjoy life.
Two weeks of roughly 35.5% commitment (KFC have a great £2.99 deal on 🤷🏻♂️) and week three begins with a weigh in weight of 16 stone, which has been confirmed on two sets of scales as the Marvellous Mummy clearly didn’t like the figures she saw on the first.
With the kinks of weigh in ironed out its time to knuckle down & shed the love handles, the only sticking point?
Beer, specifically the syns in a pint. Never one to admit defeat I have come up with a plan, a brilliant plan, to have the best of both Worlds. Slimming World Monday to Friday while the weekends? Well they are set aside for rewarding my good behaviour!
I call it the DaddyDemented World plan..
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