Why did I become a Father?
Was it to raise & nurture little humans, ensure the continuation of mankind, fulfil my parenting potential? Not entirely..
It was 99.2% to do with Toys. Yep, Toys. The colourful lumps of plastic that inhabit the likes of Smyths, Argos and until recently, Toys R Us. I figured the only way to continue being a kid when I was expected to be a grown up was to have a few kids myself who would then act as excellent cover for buying toys through my adult years.
It was in the grand scheme of amazing plans, very amazing. Did it work out as planned? Not quite.
And its all Technologies fault!
As owner of two mini humans, both boys both rapidly growing, my plan was just getting up some steam. We have various Thomas the Tank Engine playsets & about 100 engines, at least 25 being Thomas himself seeing as he comes with absolutely every new playset.
PAW Patrol is well represented along with Lightning McQueen, The Toy Story crew and Hot Wheels. All of which were reasonably acceptable albeit a little out of favour with the two dementors and their Daddy.
As Dementor 1 approaches the grand old age of 9 & his 5 year old brother naturally takes his cue from the elder sibling, I was primed to introduce some classics which had been a huge part of my childhood.
Lego and its ever expanding Universe of possibilities. Playmobil, a little dated sure but with a movie due to drop in Cinemas soon it could be about to become a hot ticket. Star Wars, Avengers, WWE, the list is almost endless.
So how did something as awesomely helpful as Technology ruin my carefully crafted plan?
My kids have no interest in these expensive, colourful and imagination inducing joy bringers. They want to play online, stream tv shows & watch DenisDaily.com on YouTube
Trips to the Toy store don't spark excitement in action figures or inspire creations from Meccano or the Danish bricks. It only raises queries about where the Ryan's Toy review merch is or the reasons why we cant buy the latest version of Hello Neighbour!
After the fifth video of some 20 year old millionaire playing Roblox, my frustration begins to boil over & I give serious consideration to pulling leads from the modem, silently plunging my kids back to the ancient times, which these days is viewed as 1998 or so.
But then I stop. I did my part, bringing two kids into the World. I deserve my half of the bargain, right?
This Daddy, Husband and Mid thirties man is off to the Toy Shop. I am gonna take my adult credit card and buy me a little bit of what was great about my childhood. Bring it home & right in front of the Wife and kids, play my little heart out with actual physical toys the old fashioned way.
Lets just see who doesn't want to join in with Pops then!
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