The following contest is scheduled for one fall…. Approaching the ring, weighing in at… well still carrying a little holiday weight. Hailing from a wee green spot in the North of Ireland, it’s the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion, Dadeeeeeeeeeeeeee Demented!!!
Cue kick ass entrance music…. And the crowd goes nuts
The WWF, yep F for Federation! Screw you ya name robbing endangered Panda!
Since my first introduction to Wrestling as a clueless 10 year old I was hooked. As a kid I was never really one for football or Rugby so spent my time coasting along with Masters of the Universe, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles (the word Ninja was deemed far too violent for UK audiences) and Thundercats. Then quite suddenly it happened, I don’t remember how or when, but before long I was strutting and cutting up and down my street, well only if I wasn’t doing my best Bushwhackers Walk.
The Hasbro figures of the WWF stars slowly started appearing in the Argos book and on the shelves in Woolworths, alongside the iconic plastic blue ring & the less popular Galoob WCW figures, though I collected both. Many school holidays were spent battling my friends in the imaginary ring we kept at the top of our cul-de-sac, in which I was always the Hulkster and twice I made it to the Kings Hall to watch the Superstars of the Federation battle it out for real. Well it was real to me.
But, things had to change. Although it wasn’t as nearly as emotional as when Andy gifted Buzz, Woody and the gang to the little girl at the end of Toy Story 3, the time came to leave my 70+ figures behind. I can still remember leaving the Canvas “fisher price” bag filled with pre loved grapplers into the church jumble sale, hoping they would stay together for many more Rumbles.
As the years have flown by I kept an eye to the now, WWE. The Attitude Era, some truly tragic gimmicks and some truly tragic demises. Bra and panties matches, hanging the Big Boss Man along with a few other forgettable blots on the product. The Golden, my Golden era of Hogan, Macho and that iconic blue ring may be gone forever but my aging fan opinion can’t help but think something irreplaceable went when Kayfabe was smashed to bits!
Yet I find myself tuning back in, seeking out the social media accounts and being dragged from the Figures section of the toy store, like some unsettling role reversal, by my kids. I’m trying my best to introduce them to the action figures, showing them snippets on YouTube and generally being excited, so far no good!
The Marvellous Mummy (My Wife) is a bit of a stumbling block, she isn’t a fan and tells me so, but that’s only a wee problem. At 8 and 5, my two boys are the perfect age and I would love to take them to a live show. I just need a bit of help to convince them to give it a go, a Doink the Clown would be the perfect visual or an Ultimate Warrior, but that’s part of my problem. I look at the RAW and Smackdown rosters and can’t see anything that would appeal to the child’s eye. Wrestling has come on in leaps and technological bounds yet its missing that something extra, ill just come out and say it, it was better in my day
Why is there never a Sting around when you need one?
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