They have me on a diet!

I say they but to be fair, I agreed to this, in theory..ish

I had begun to notice that after years of being straight up and down, my little yet hard earned beer belly was almost arriving in places before the rest of me got there, almost

At first I wasn’t that bothered, Dad bods were in and I had the height to sustain the extra load, or so I thought. Slowly the comments started creeping in, the body shaming and the little pats on the tum tum. And that was just from the kids!

Today’s lunch, healthy right?

I was compared to Homer Simpson, a compliment on many levels, but not as it was intended. Its a ludicrous comparison, I have hair and my balls aren’t yellow. Well they weren’t the last time I looked down and was able to see them.

Fast forwarding to today I am 3lbs down, eating more green stuff than bugs bunny & drinking low calorie beer after kicking my oh so sweet Mistress, Magners Cider to the kerb about a month ago.

I am without doubt the boss of my Buddha body, or so I thought.

Going by my work colleagues and some fitness tracker app thing they use, It looks like I need to cut down on everything, including my oxygen intake.

My portions are double what they should be, which is confusing as I didn’t think you could eat too much salad? It seems even what I considered healthy food has lots of calories

But I’m seriously committed to this weight loss journey, so after listening to their advice I decided the best thing to do was look for new work colleagues.

Unfortunately restructuring the workforce is a step beyond what the boss considers to be covered when he said “if you need anything let me know”

So until I get a response back from the IT department on whether or not you can airbrush a real person I have decided against scanning my food, counting my calories & denying myself oxygen. Instead I’m making small but achievable dietary changes, cutting out fast food, swapping soda for water....

The Beer is already Light, which is as seismic as learning a new language!

I just worry that I’m gonna waste away to a mountain