Why am I not in America?

Today I should have been travelling to the US of A!

It’s a tradition I have, a little break from the foundering Irish winter in the tropical heat of Florida, now in its 3rd year. Ok so it’s actually a tradition in its infancy but you have to start somewhere

In 2017 I travelled to the USA alone for a week of sunshine, beer, de stressing & the SuperBowl. The showpiece of the NFL was taking place in Houston, TX & I was gonna be there to experience it.

Unfortunately the National Football League don’t care to negotiate over ticket prices, so I found myself watching the game in an Orlando bar! Still, a lot better than chilly Ireland though.

2018 saw me return to Orlando after a two night stopover in New York City, all to visit the World renowned Dead Rabbit Grocery & Grog, a former winner of Best Bar in the World, that’s nestled on the southern tip of Manhattan.

As 2019 approached I was hit with Cupid’s arrow, or possibly some sort of hallucinogenic infused dart, it’s still not clear which . Whatever the cause I decided to open up my solo trip to include my Wife. I plotted my brilliant plan convinced the location alone would convince The Marvellous Mummy to accompany me

I had my oh so romantic pitch well rehearsed, “How about we head to Orlando in Feb, just the two of us?”. Cue a bonanza of Brownie points, in my mind at least.

You see, in March 2009 I popped the question in Orlando, the Germany pavilion in Epcot at the Walt Disney World Resort to be exact. On the last night of The Marvellous ones first trip to the states, under the evening fireworks display. Obviously I thought it would be a home run to head back there, sans kids to reminisce on the past decade. To reflect on our lives together & our achievements, the kids, our careers, our recent house move.. maybe even look back on all those times we didn’t have sex, you know deep and meaningful couple stuff.

Here is a wee snap of the historic moment!

It was to be a special trip on several levels. So as I explained this to her one evening i was simultaneously picturing myself accepting an award for outstanding husbandry, in fact I may have been Mid imaginary acceptance speech when I was snapped back to reality.. Did she just say ‘It’s too far away’...

She did say it was too far away, she doesn’t want to go!

Too far away, I wasn’t expecting her to walk! There would be a plane involved..

Scrambling to counter her comment with a clear positive I pulled ‘Yeah it’s 9 hours on a plane, with no kids’ out of my hat.. surely that a plus?

Well.... Apparently her Majesty gets bored sitting for so long with nothing to do...

That’s news to me! She manages to sit on her ass every night for hours on end all while ignoring plenty of activities, the ironing, the dishes, the cookbooks that she had to buy. This wisely remained a non verbalised personal thought..

I meekly countered with watch a movie, read a book, have a snooze or just enjoy the child free atmosphere with a drink or four?

Winner? Nope, she wasn’t budging. So here she was, turning down a free trip to Orlando in the midst of an Irish Winter, with no kids and to celebrate 10 years since her engagement to her clearly, or so I thought, wonderful husband.

So that’s how I find myself sitting at home in -2 degrees icy conditions opposed to hurtling across the Atlantic nursing a Jameson and Ginger

For better or for worse! said by many, meant by none